This is ME and I AM 40..

Over the course of years, there is moments when I question everything? From small questions to huge, to meaning less, to completely urgent. Everyday life is usually consumed with family, kids, chores, cleaning, service, work, and somewhere in the beginning, the middle and at the end of the day!
I find ME!!
Who AM I too my very core?
Which finds me wondering what I could have done, what I should have done differently. I hate that sometimes, few to be honest but still there. I doubt myself and it’s a dark place. Usually they are pointless and a whole lot of yucky ugly thoughts telling me that I wasn’t good enough. As hard as I try that I feel my passion for life is pointless. Does anyone really care? The struggle is real, It’s weird to me that these are actually my thoughts. Everything in opposition! You get to take the good, the bad and the ugly.  But with all that said.. Why do I or we feel this way? I like thinking its for growth and humility. Testing our Faith, a daily test for me? What am I going to choose do to? We all get to choose how we are going to life our lives.
This is ME this is what make ME, ME and seems to work for ME: I turn to the Lord, and beg him for direction and love. I go back to my earlier years when I was taught that I am a daughter of God, I have a plan and a purpose. I am where I need to be, he has led ME here. I am never alone. I need to be ME, I have to accept ME, and embrace all that is good. I have been given and entrusted with so much. I know with my whole heart He loves ME, He knows my heart, he knows who I need to become.
So me at 40 I am grateful, I am a mom, I am loved, I am thoughtful, I am a wife, I am crafty, I am a disciple of Christ, I am a child of god, I am a mess most days, I am supporter, I am a listener, I am a peacemaker, I am happy, I am helpful,  I am a cheerleader, I am a friend, I am a sister, I am a banker, I am a worrier, I am a boss, I am a chef, I am a daughter, I am loyal, I am enough, and I am ME….

Also at 40 I know, life is not easy, its not suppose to be. We are all just doing the best we can. We are to do are part and trust him, be obedient, find joy, keep his commandments, and his blessing will pour down on us. He loves us so much, he is aware of us and I’m so grateful for my personal relationship with the Lord. What wonderful promises he has made to us. My hope is that I may always live worthy of them.
Life is good!
This is me and I am 40..
Vicki